CSQ - 10-12-06 - Adventure 558 - Veracity's totally unbiased and perfectly accurate notes
--We begin the adventure with most of us feeling poorly and some of us positively drained. Igor's butt cheeks are sagging and he is covered in goose bumps. He shivers and complains of cold. Brianna and I offer Igor the fur blanket found in the basement of the tower, but Igor declines. Saves it for later. Begs to be "restored" now instead.
--We debate the cheapest, quickest way to restore Igor. We decide that killing him and bringing him back would recover all his normal vitality in a snap! My brother, Tebryn, generously offers to expend one of his more advanced spells - "Slay Person." However, Kress feels this is a damn silly waste of good spells when he can slay Igor quickly, and almost painlessly, with a swoosh of his greataxe - for FREE !
--Igor is totally ungracious and rude to both Tebryn and Kress.
--Igor then turns to MY darling, Brianna, and wants her to put her hands all over him for healing. The nerve!
--Brianna touches and cures ME instead, as is proper. (and quite delightful, too, dear, you have such a nack for that
--Brianna speaks of working on a "Kiss of Life" spell in the future. Which I think is a brilliant idea! Yol says if Brianna can learn "Kiss of Life," then she, Yol, will learn "Kiss of Death." Yol looks at Igor when she says this. (Obviously, Yol is looking to add to her entourage of undead male love slaves.)
--Yol then winks at Brianna, "Come over to the dark side, honey. Give up this foolish idea of giving life. Death is the ultimate glory!"
--Brianna takes my hand. We both ignore the depressive Yol. We have a lot to life for with each other!
--Tebryn starts talking "stategeries." He puffs out his chest and becomes "The Commander." Draws battle plans in the dirt. Gesticulates wildly. And all that's very nice and kindly of him until he starts criticizing MY sweet Brianna!
--"You, Bard," Tebryn leers, "what use are you?"
--"How dare you--" I begin, but my brother cuts me off.
--"Can you do more than sing, Brianna, can you? Can you?" he demands.
--"She casts spells!" I point out.
--"Yeah," says my honey, "and singing is helpful too. Don't knock it, Tebryn. I've saved your butt many a times with my inspiring music and song!"
--Tebryn says, "It's not enough. You don't pull your weight!"
--Igor and Kress come over to break up the fight. They stand between me and Tebryn, so I won't clobber my brother.
--"You sound like you have something to suggest, Tebryn," says Igor.
--"Yeah," says Kress, "Let's hear your idea."
--Tebryn says, "I have here a special item that I don't use anymore." And he opens a small box - revealing a wee, little platinum sword.
--Kress scoffs, "That won't do much damage!"
--Tebryn sighs! "It's magic, stupid!"
--Hazen hears this and comes over, "Hey, look at that dinky thing! What is that? Like +5 against olives? Hah! Hah!"
--"Yeah, if we come up against any killer olives..." laughs Igor.
--Steam rises from Tebryn's brow. He takes a deep breath and forces himself to keep calm. "If you will all shut up and let me explain."
--We all shut up.
--Tebryn, "THIS is The Sword of Lamnion! A magic item made by Lamnion, a powerful Evoker of ages past. It happens to be the material component required for Mordenkainen's sword, but it's more than that: the owner can use it to cast that spell once a day at a very high Caster Level. In practical terms it summons a blade of force (which therefore can hit ethereal and non-corporeal creatures) which strikes hard [Atk +28 for 4d6+3 damage once per round]. And, since it's a spell and isn't actually a 'weapon' (just like magic missiles), attacks with it ignore damage reduction. Like a lich's, or like a stoneskin spell. What do you say to THAT?"
--I say, "Pretty impressive, after all. Are you offering to give it to Brianna?"
--Tebryn says, "Give? Hah! I am offering to LOAN it to your pet...your... your DOXIE, so she can pull her weight for a change."
--"My WHAT?" I say.
--Kress looks Brianna up and down. "Errr, she doesn't look like a female Dachshund to me..."
--"Ignore them, Brianna," I say.
--Brianna and I joins hands and are about to move away together, but Brianna turns back and looks again at the little sword. She says, "I don't know. It might be useful... Could I still sing or would I have to concentrate all the time?"
--Tebryn, "I suggest you start singing, direct the sword, then go back to singing. You won't have to break song again unless you want the sword to change opponents."
--"Well, that sounds reasonable anyway," I admit and nod to Brianna.
--Brianna, "Yeah, okay, I'll give it a try."
--I snatch the box out of my brothers' hands and give it to my darling Brianna. Then we both give Tebryn the cold shoulder for his insulting language. Herrumph!
--Tebryn amuses himself by restoring Igor.
--I'm concerned about whether we should cure Kress or not? He attacked me earlier today. Did you know that? Quite viciously too! Isn't that like the 5th or 6th time this adventure Kress has allowed himself to be Dominated by the enemy? Okay, I'm underestimating. It was probably the 100th time! What a mush-brain.
--"Let's leave Kress low so he's less of a danger to us," I say.
--Kress doesn't agree, of course. And Hazen stands up for Kress.
--Hazen, "It's not Kress's fault. He really IS loyal to us! He really is!"
--I say, "I'd feel better if we loped off one of Kress's arms, then he could still fight, but couldn't grapple you or I in battle, Hazen."
--Hazen considers this. Meanwhile Yol foolishly heals Kress. Perhaps because she wants us all to die so she can make Spectres or Zombies of us? Hmmnnnn?
--More later, I have to take a break for mead, bread, and cheese.
--Okay. I'm back from a very refreshing meal. On with the tale:
--Tebryn speculates about the Tower and the spells it can cast. "I'm wondering if it has a daily limit?" he says. "Cause if it does, then we should press on today and do more exploring."
--"I want to go back to that nice bedroom on the corporeal side," Brianna says. (She and I exchange secret looks.)
--"Alas, I think our way back is blocked, sweetie..." I say.
--"That's right," Tebryn declares, "it was a one-way archway to the ethereal side. We can NOT get back from here."
--My brother speaks loudly and with great satisfaction at our predicament. It is obvious to me that he is intrigued by the sinister possibilities of the ethereal side... Itching for us to do more exploring. Yes, I can see that in his eyes! Just like that time when we were kids and he goaded me into exploring with him in the Carnivorous Caverns of... but I digress.
--We agree to move on. Then we take stock of our Death Wards to see who is best suited to scout ahead for us.
--Only Yol and Igor still have Death Wards active. Even my See Invisible has expired. I renew that, but can't renew the Ward on myself. As a group, for the rest of the day, there are only two Death Ward spells available among us. We decide to save spells and send Igor on ahead, as he's still protected and can't wait to get moving.
--Before Igor floats away on his mission, I ask about disabling the cold-generating Death Orb, so that he doesn't have to go forward alone.
--I wonder aloud if the Death Orb would respond to Magic Missiles?
--Kress suggests whacking the Death Orb with a greataxe.
--Igor suggests whacking the Death Orb with a herring. Sigh!
--It seems like only yesterday that Igor and I would explore together, lead the charge, face danger side by side. Now my dear friend, Igor, shrugs off my help and everyone else's. He seems to WANT to go on a suicide mission. Sigh! Poor guy. I wonder... if Yol would only accept Iggi as a *living* love slave, would be be doing this? Trying to get himself killed to get laid? Poor, poor thing. Ah, well. "Live and Let Die," I say.
--Igor activates his Ring of Invisibility, "Geronimo!" Lets gas and rockets up a few levels. As he rises he discovers that the rooms are getting bigger and bigger. This is the up-side-down mirror image of the corporal side of the Tower.
--Igor is away from us a good while, perhaps looking for some "hot" and "flexible" Fire Giant babes to Tango. Cha, cha, chah.
--Brianna and I get bored. To amuse ourselves, we sing some silly songs, "Ring their bells with swords and spells, monsters on the way, oh how wise it is to flee and fight another day, hey!"
--Kress listens awhile, then hangs his head, "Ah, man, stop that, it's so depressing, makes me not want to fight at all."
--We ignore Kress and continue our fun until Tebryn frowns at us and points a threatening finger (the burnt-tipped one he uses for Disentegration Spells). Then we shut up and cuddle awhile.
--More time passes.
--Suddenly, we all jump as Igor roars down at us in a voice that could (and likely will!) wake the dead!!
--"I FOUND SOME MAGICAL SUITS OF ARMOR THAT SEEM SUSPICIOUS! AND THERE'S A DOOR ON THE LANDING UP HERE!"
--"Stupid, stupid," I mutter under my breath to Brianna. "What does he think he's playing at? We'll have every Tower nasty down on us!"
--"Shit," says Brianna, "I should have done message on him."
--Brianna calls Igor down to us. *Fortunately* nothing nasty follows him down - that we know of.
--Igor glides over, chuckling to himself at his little joke. Sigh!
--Brianna does message on Igor.
--We agree that Igor should check out the door first, since the circuitry is not disabled yet in the room with the suits of armor.
--To dazzle Yol (or all the ladies?) with his total disregard for personal safety, Igor goes up and immediately presses his hairy ear against the door of the landing.
--A trap springs and a cone of Prismatic Spray erupts - beautiful like rainbow, but very, very deadly. Igor is fortunate not to turn to stone. Though, I concede, that would have made his ass harder than mine.
--We hear Igor exclaim, "OOPS!" via message.
--After triggering the Prismatic Spray, Igor decides to search the door for traps.
--Igor finds only a sprung trigger for Prismatic Spray. Sigh! Surprise. Surprise.
--Igor presses his hariy ear to the door again and - "hears nothing," he tells us.
--Igor asks us all to come up and stand with him as he opens the door. As Yol is the only other party member with an active death ward, we tell her up to Igor and be his backup.
--Yol is scared to go (perhaps afraid she'll be overcome with lust for a living Stud Muffin and embarrass herself at the Necrophilia society) so she sends Khumarr instead.
-When Khumarr gets there, he just stands around and won't communicate with Igor, despite Yol's instructions.
--Finally, Yol has to go up and take her undead pet in hand. And boy, oh boy, is she STRICT with him! As only the evil Yol can be!
--Yol successfully (using "Spiritual Whips," no doubt) gets Khumarr to pass through the door and enter the mysterious room.
-Khumarr returns. "There is creature in room," he reports.
--"What kind of creature?" asks Yol.
--Khummar communicates, "Gaunt, dark elf. Male."
--"Dead or alive?" ask Igor.
--"Is that relevant?" ponders Yol.
--"Ask!" insists Igor.
--Yol communes with Khumarr, "Alive or dead?"
--Khumarr, "Can't tell. But not moving."
--Yol licks her cold, purple lips. "That's promising!" she says.
--Yol floats down and communicates this information to the rest of us.
--I tease Yol. "Is the dark elf guy sexy?" I ask (winking at Brianna so she's in on the joke).
--Yol scowls. "I haven't seen him yet myself!" Indicating that she, Yol, has dibs on the male creature in the room. Then Yol hurries back upstairs to get to him first!
--Finally we all arrive, taking cold damage on the way. We gather tightly around Igor and wait for him to open the door.
--Igor says, "Brace yourselves!" tries the door and finds it locked. "OOOPs!"
--We all stand around and take more cold damage while Igor picks the lock on the door.
--Brianna feels for my suferring and casts her last remaning Death Ward spell on me (using a pearl I gave her earlier). ("Thanks, Honey. Love you! Kiss. Kiss," I whisper.)
--Igor finally, barely, succeeds with the lock. He swings open the door.
--We are greeted by an icy draft. The walls of the room appear to be covered in a lattice of bones and a drow *woman!* is sitting in the far corner on a throne of bones. She is holding a skull in one hand and her face is painted to emulate the lines of the skull. The left side of the room is open to the Death Orb.
--Yol leans forward and breathes deeply, reveling in the deathly cold.
--I can't see well from my position. "Does the drow woman have all her hands and eyeballs?" I ask.
--Yol sighs. "Sadly, yes."
--Igore (still invisible) goes into find and disablet the spy circuits. Tebryn accompanies the possibly-still-suicidal Igor for his own protection.
--Once in the room, my bold brother sneers at the drow woman. "I don't know who or what you really are, but take that--" and casts a disintegrate at her.
--A green ray shoots from Tebryn's right hand and strikes the skull-faced woman. She glows with a blue light and turns slowly towards Tebryn.
--The Temple is also aware of Tebryn and attempts a destruction spell on him.
--Tebryn seems to wilt a bit, but fails to turn to dust (much to the dismay of the Temple, no doubt )
--Tebryn reports hearing someone mumbling in the corner of the room. But the lips of the skull-faced drow woman don't seem to move at all. Suspicious... hmmnnnn....? Is she a Transvestite or a Ventriloquist Dummy?
--Brianna begins singing, "Kill the bitch, kill the bitch, or get out of the way, she's one we have to fight, the one we have to slay, hey!"
--Kress overcomes his initial hesitation and charges into the room to "protect" (or "attack?" ) my dear brother. Always difficult to predict which with Kress, despite Brianna's very clear and highly motivational lyrics.
--I cast feeblemind at the skull-faced drow. But, sadly, there is no impact that I can tell. I am sooo embarrassed - in front of Brianna - to have a perfectly nice spell fizzle like that. I resolve to do better next time.
--Yol, meanwhile, bravely hides behind the rest of us and sends her lackey, Khumarr, into the room. Sigh! For someone who *claims* to be anxious to embrace death first hand...
--Khumarr glides directly over to the Tranny/Dummy and gives her/it a hearty good whack. No damage, nor energy drain is apparent and Khumarr, a Spectre, doesn't seem to absorbing any extra energy himself. Hmnnnn....?
--Having inspired us with song, Brianna now activates the little platinum sword and sets spiritual slashing on the Tranny/Dummy. But the damage appears to be reduced. The skull-dummy-tranny-drow seems to be regenerating. Yikes!
--The tranny drow looks at Kress. Not surprisingly, Kress's face goes slack and he starts viciously attacking my dearest, most valuable brother!! Not one hit, but FOUR! What nerve! What idiocy!! I knew we shouldn't have cured Kress. I knew it!! And I plan to have both his arms removed for this!!
--I do a greater dispel magic (successfully) on Kress as fast I can, but my poor brother is still left badly wounded.
--Tebryn points his burnt-tipped finger at Kress and asks how Kress would like a disintegrate?
--Hazen apologizes and pleads for Kress's life.
--Igor's death ward wears off and he takes cold damage, but finally manages to disable the spy circuitry in the room.
--I can see Igor clearly, cause my see invisible spell is still up. Now that Igor has disabled the circuitry, I'd like to boost his combat ability. Call me soft. Perhaps I'm secretly sweet inside? Or perhaps I just don't want to adventure with the stench of rotting companions? But for some silly, spontaneously reason, I want Igor to live through this battle.
--I run into the room. I tweak Igor's left butt cheek while casting greater heroism at the same time. Then I whisper into his ear, "Go get 'em, Tiger."
--"Wow! I feel really strong and tingly when you touch me there!" says Igor.
--Suddenly, a miracle happens. Igor wants to live. He wants to live! He jumps and up and down runs around the room with zest. He spies the tranny-drow creature and goes for her (with what intent? love? lust? or mere youthful curiosity?) Whatever, she is obviously not the experience he expects.
--"She's an illusion," Igor shouts to Tebryn.
--Tebryn does a highly successful greater dispel magic on the area of the corner of the room.
--The image of the drow woman, her throne of bones, and the bone lattice work all around the room wavers and dissolves.
--Then we all see: A remarkably well-preserved male Lich!
--Yol has an immediate orgasm. (drops her toothpick)
*And the tale goe on. After you buy me another drink.*
We move down 2 levels out of the range of the Orb.
Tebryn reads scroll of limited wish and casts restoration on Igor, restoring his 10 points of drained Con.
Hazen: "Give your brain a rest, I'm a strategic commander!"
Yol casts cure serious on Veracity for 25 points = -19
Tebryn lets Brianna use the sword of Lamnion.
We talk and discuss. We cure up everybody.
Igor floats up a couple levels to disable the circuitry in higher rooms.
Brianna 26 Kress 25 Hazen 21 Veracity 21 Khumarr 14 Yol 13 Igor 12 Tebryn 10
Igor disables the circuitry in the room above the Orb.
Igor goes to the hole down and yells "One down!"
Igor goes to the hole up and floats up. He sees a couple of suits of armor.
Igor floats down and reports.
Brianna casts message on Igor and companions. Igor floats up again.
Igor presses his ear against the door and seven colored rays spring out and a ray strikes him, He fails to turn to stone. yawn. He searches and finds that there is a Prismatic Spray trap on the door. yawn.
Yol comes up with Khumarr to help. She sends Khumarr up to help Igor. He goes through the wall and comes out and reports that there is a creature sitting unmovingly on a seat. It's a gaunt dark elf.
Tebryn & Brianna climb up.
Brianna takes 2 points of negative energy damage
Brianna takes 2 points of negative energy damage
Brianna recalls a death ward spell and casts it on Veracity
Tebryn steps through the door and casts disintegrate on the figure.
The temple cats destruction on Tebryn. It passes his spell resistance but he resists it.
We hear a mumble from the corner.
Brianna takes 2 points and starts to sing.
Tebryn casts magic missiles against the creature in the corner for 22 points.
Kress steps up next to the creature and hits it for a bit of damage.
Tebryn casts a greater dispel magic on the corner. We now sees a remarkably well-preserved lich in the corner.
Umaerh casts prismatic spray.
Kress attacks. He hits once for 16-15 and misses 4 times.
Umaerh casts phantasmal killer on Igor. He fails his Will save. The most horrible thing he can imagine appears next to him. It touches him and he shrugs it off.
Kress hits for 18-15.
Yol casts mass cure light wounds and gives everybody 19 points of curing.
Kress -78 Veracity full Yol full Tebryn -66 Igor full
Igor picks up a ring, staff, ring
Everybody moves down, all the way to the bottom of the tower.
Prev Top Next
|Copyright © 2006 by Brianna Sollandry <brianna at hambo dot com>||
Ph'nglui mglw'nafh Cthulhu
R'lyeh wgah-nagl fhtagn.